Made It

I am in Pasadena. Twelve and a half hours one way. Traffic is killer, there are more stores than I've ever seen in my life, and 4 cineplexes within a mile from my hotel. Mexican and Thai restaurants reign supreme on each and every block. Real live Indians have commercials on TV every seven minutes crying about how their casinos are taxed too much and I am at least a foot taller than everyone on the street. Avis didn't have any compacts left so I'm stuck with a Mustang convertible in sunny California and $64 a day to eat, compliments of you fine taxpayers! I saw the"Apple" guy get into a limo, clean shaven, carrying a little gift bag accompanied by two goons in black suits. His "PC" buddy was nowhere in sight. The hotel already had a Speakman shower head installed but the pillows are stuffed with feathers and my eyes are tearing as much as my nose is running. I was told by a guy at the office how I look a hundred percent better now than I did when I was in Baton Rouge. Kinda creepy and nice at the same time. I guess that is my point as usual. Checks and balances, ying and yang, sweet and sour, one man's chi is another man's pee and so on.

M4

This was too good not to share. Abstract and unexpected. I still laugh when I look at it. Bri - you a funny guy.

Never Saw The Movie Chicago-Never Will

I'm almost ready to talk about my failed trip to the west coast, but probably won't. Instead I should talk a little bit about Chicago where I spent this past week-end.

I didn't get to the Grand Ole Oprah, I didn't see the movie Cloverfield. The only blues I experienced was my stinging thighs and exposed face skin in the zero and below. No Chicago style pizza or gangland hits. Not one cow starting any fires. The bums on the train were at least pleasant and plentiful. I ate breakfast when I woke at whatever time I was waking and watched TV and napped. Staying indoors was the way to go doing nothing for days.

Chicago still remains mostly a mystery to me other than what I've learned from the Blues Brothers and Ferris Bueller, and I don't mind that at all.

Morning WaWa Wisdom

I spend a lot of time whining about all of the usual crap that everybody endures, with the exception that I endure it angry. Gets me all hungry so I visit the WaWa in the night. It seems I always get a little more than I expect when I go. Daytime = crowds. Nighttime = lessons in life.

It's about 1:30 AM when I bounce in the store with the intent of two turkey bowls, a grape soda and some TastyKakes and bread. Counter boy is having a conversation with a girl employee that is just now leaving from her shift that was supposed to end at 11 PM. Deli dude had just arrived two and a half hours late. She was not permitted to leave until he got there. Rough spot to be in.

She was now saying her goodbyes in a surprisingly pleasant manner and left. Counter boy wished her well while deli dude scowled in silence, not even acknowledging her departure. Jerk head.

Now the time of wisdom unfolds. The two players remaining engage in a "tête-á-tête" as I bask in the wonder of it all.

CB - Why wouldn't you say goodbye to her?

DD- I don't like her.

CB- How can you not like her? You don't even know her?

DD- I just don't.

CB- What sense does that make? Do you hate for no reason at all? How can you walk around feeling that way? What does that accomplish?

DD- Well, she was mad because I was late.

CB-You were late. REAL late!

DD- Everybody gets here late.

CB- Yeah, maybe ten or fifteen minutes. You were two and a half hours late!

DD- So? Maybe if someone would give me a car I wouldn't be so late.

CB- Are you kidding me? You're twenty-nine years old! No one is going to give you a car. No one is going to give you anything. How can you not know that? How can you not understand why she would be upset? Suppose you worked 3-11 and had to wait for someone to show up before you could leave? Suppose you had to catch a bus to get home and they stopped running at midnight? How would you feel about that? Then suppose the guy came in the next day or maybe two and a half hours late without any apology or explanation? Suppose the guy never even talked to you because he doesn't like you for no reason at all? How would you feel about that? Suppose the big man here didn't like you for no reason and came around there to slice his own deli? Suppose he was waiting two and a half hours to get fed? Do you at least know not to ever keep a big man waiting, especially for food?

This conversation struck me because here were 2 people in the same situation working graveyard at the WaWa, yet at opposite ends of the spectrum. One with the mentality of everyone owes me something-it's not my fault-I did nothing wrong-so on and whatever, while the other guy understood work-responsibility-courtesy-and felt no shame in trying to educate his brother.

It was a beautiful thing. The wise young youngster preaching to the blind ignorant old head. The conversation went on for the entire time I was there and I hope for hours after I left. Deli dude made some mediocre turkey bowls too. I hope it was because he was considering new approaches to life. He didn't keep me waiting.

Meep Meep

I have to perform amazing feats of reckless driving daily in order to proceed forward on the PA Turnpike at a blazing 15 - 35 miles an hour to keep up with and avoid the sleeping zombies, brake tappers, scattered animal bits, Talladega wannabes, crash debris and State Troopers. I don't know whether I should carry my own memorial DVD around my neck or continue to wear a cape and plastic underpants. Thank goodness I'm on my way to Los Angeles and can take a sabbatical from this ridiculous traffic.

Pathetic or Hi-Larious?

How can you be the only candidate on the ballot and get just 61% of the vote. I can't take another day of this. Maybe some more paint and putty will do the trick.

ATTICA ATTICA ATTICA

I'd like to say my lack of blogging here is because I support the Writer's Guild of America and join them in their strike and protest against "The Man," but all I can truly claim is laziness. As a matter of fact, I'm going to go to bed right now. I do have lots of riotous stories of food, typical business as usual of government sadly driven by folks WAY out of their league, a nice mariachi drawing depicting relative sizes, photos you wouldn't believe but couldn't take your eyes off of, mishaps at the mall, dreams of a madman abstractly guided, attempts at normalcy gone awry and various other quips that would earn many entertainment dollars and accolades galore at "The Globes", but, I even bore myself today.

I need some motivation. That'll be YOUR job. Let's see what you've got. Make me write.

Mariachi Report

Christmas cards have all been tossed,
The New Year got here fast.
Chips are crisp and meatballs sauced,
Big fun has been forecast.

This party's nice but we need more,
A visit from our dreams.
Just then the Mariachis four,
Arrived amidst the screams.

Muchachos made some sour notes,
The dancers didn't care.
Big red ties around their throats,
Sombreros hid their hair.

Sashes and mustaches on,
The Chicken Dance, all stood.
We clapped and flapped and shook our brawn,
And saw that it was good.

The songs they sang were songs we liked,
Familiar, we all grooved.
The crowd was joyous, band was psyched,
And all involved approved.

The show is done, the countdown wrapped,
There's smiling friends galore.
Photographs have all been snapped,
Mustaches on the floor.

This band of merry men and girl,
Accomplished quite a thing.
They made straight hair succumb to curl,
And put the pong to ping.

Viva Los Banditos De La Musicas!!! Thanks Brian, Jody and Bob for making the fun real for a bunch of folks that mean a lot to me.