A Ka-Boinking

Gamb'lord. A gambling machine that comes to visit, hypnotize and control you, your money and immediate future. He first approaches with friendly face, about 290 pounds of personality, various smells and goo, and a goody bag full of fresh new fun ideas and suggestions. Hey did you see the game? Oh those stinkin' Eagles! Are you hungry? Let's call for delivery! Andy Reid should be fired. Wouldn't it be great to play some cards while we wait for our food? Stinkin' McNabb. Do you have change for a hundred? Jokers are aces, straights and flushes. Why don't you deal first?


The El-Kabonging begins.

I might need one of those full time regular kind of jobs soon. Stinkin' Gamb'lord and his little buddy Cha-Chingy.

Extra Yardage

I don't care how "bad" a goose might think it is, how many feathers it has in it's cap, how loud and scary it's bark is, or how aggresive it might be towards children, women and me, it is only one punch away from being a pillow.

There are only two types of animals in the world, the mooses and the gooses. I've never heard the phrase, "Your moose is cooked," and don't ever expect to. My name is Bob ... and I'm a moose.

Next time you are in a park or the zoo or a farm and there's a goose on the loose and it's making it's way to you or yours yapping about gimme a sammich or whatever a goose yaps about, stand tall and punt away. Tell PETA there's plenty more left over for them if they don't like it. A size 13 goes a long way.

Just A Quick Note

I amuse myself. This is an everyday occurrence. Although some days I am FORCED to entertain myself, it does not change the character of my enjoyment.

Here is a new source of enjoyment for me. Jealous?

Left Hand - Right Hand

The cheese steak. Cheese and steak. Nice, but what about the roll? No one mentions that. It is seldom considered, but always expected. Assumed. What do you do if served a cheese steak without a roll? Dangerous situation. It becomes go time!

Cocoa Krispies. Fantastic. Snap, krackle AND pop. We know about the sounds, the excitement involved, and those hats! A Chef Boy Ar Dee, a limp brimless Cat In The Hat and a Michael Jackson parade marcher who is really not in a parade but dresses as such and perhaps marches anyway. Why don't we hear more about how the milk you pour on the cereal turns into CHOCOLATE milk? Magical! No matter what the ratio is between milk and cereal, the milk manages a perfect chocolate mix at the end.

Dunkin Donuts. Why would they sell anything other than donuts? Sandwiches and coolatas and bagels and thermoses and soup and bacon and blah blah blah. Does this only set off alarms to me?

Taco Bell. No bell.

Willie Wonka. Hopefully no willie!

Do we have to start calling Sweet Midgets, Sweet Little People Pickles? Aren't they gherkins anyway?

Cheese Whiz. Does cheese really help whiz?

Are there any other animals that cook their food besides us?

I chased a squirrel earlier today and caught up to it. We were both surprised.

I think I may have said too much for today. No wonder I have a big belly.

Rife Lunneth Over

Last night around midnight, the always explosive expanding rice noodle attacked the drainage system at the house, exposing the curly mahem in a series of sinks, dictating my Friday morning activity. Since I have little clue, but plenty of time, today will be MY day to attack the drainage system, and I don't fight fair! Armed only with a monkey wrench and plumber's crack, I proceed.

See you in the promised land.

Some Phillies Images

Interesting. The Phillies Phanatic on friendly ground gets more security than the actual players. We know what matters most at home.


This guy is still working for the Phillies. He was being honored as the oldest employee of the organization. Must be a horrible retirement plan to continue your job long after your eye shields first adored Maude.


Refusing to pay the ransom for stadium food, a smuggler enjoys a sandwich of his own accord. Fans around him cheered in appreciation when he also consumed the bag late in the seventh inning.


May the New York Mets rest in peace.