Monday, April 09, 2007

Rotten Tomatoes

I have always found Shirley MacLaine annoying. Keanu Reeves should never speak aloud. I will not watch anything with Whoopi Goldberg in it. Mel Brooks has no idea about funny. Jane Fonda and Peter Fonda are the Pauley Shores of acting. Ice Cube is not what he wishes he was, Ice-T is not as clever as he believes he is and Vanilla Ice is ridiculous (except for "Having A Roni" ... sheer brilliance!). My friend Joe Irby would make these wannabe gangstas poo real crunch berries with just his look of hello. Chevy Chase is an unfunny tragic cricket. The folks at Disney do not have one original thought. Mya Angelou should carry Mya Bucketofpoo. Larry King is E.T. and Anderson Cooper should get off of T.V. and lounge around all day is his mother's jeans and shut his flappin' yap.

All of this take out fast food and non stop soda makes me feel like the Ebert of old. I have to switch my diet or get out of Georgia.

3 Comments:

Blogger Amy McWeasel said...

Can't we agree that the only thing Keanu Reeves should be allowed to speak aloud is "whoa!", a la "Bill & Ted?"

(And I like Shirley MacLaine as an actress. Nyah!)

9:46 AM  
Blogger RJK said...

I will allow a whoa, but never a Shirley.

12:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dude, lay off the high fat and sugar, and get some sleep!

I don't care what Anderson Cooper is saying, I watch him on mute. He's so hot! So there.

9:12 AM  

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