Spice of Life

I am like a mad scientist of invention today. Quite simply I started the day with a scrambling of eggs and a huge dose of home fried potatoes with peppers and onions (without the peppers). Of course a slab of butter was necessary to incorporate in the mix, and then came the spices. I used both! Salt AND pepper.

Accidentally, the peppering of the food was enthusiastic to say the least, but there was no turning back. Eating the spuds created an instant sting on my lips. It was as if I were slapped repeatedly on the same lip until it was pliable enough to shape into funny balloon animals, that's right, plural! With my new found lip girth I was compelled to sing a rousing chorus of Bibbety-Boppity-Boo while throwing my legs up in a series of kicks with the the hopes of generating enough wind to sooth the swelling heat. The discovery - excessive heat = swelling!

So for those of you looking to augment those thin lips into something special, forget the collagen, forget the botox and plastic, leave the doctor behind and the silicone on the shelf. Add a substantial amount of pepper to your meals (considerably less expensive, and much easier to apply), then pucker up buttercup, you'll look swell!