Heart Stopper

I think I invented a new way to clog my arteries, satisfy my belly, and to tickle the taste buckets (buds seems too small).

I like pineapple. I like it fresh. I like it from the can. I like it dried. I found these bags of dried pineapple chunks from the Philippines at Sam's Club. They are soft and moist and sweet and sweet. Maybe too sweet. Having more than just a few is a chore, but I want more.

It is my personal belief that bacon makes it good. By "it" I mean everything. Also at Sam's Club is pre-cooked bacon strips. Too pliable for breakfast or sandwiches alone unless you cook them up a little more for some crunch.

Bacon = Pig = Ham. When you cook a ham oft times pineapple is placed on it, either for aesthetics or taste enhancement, I don't know, but there it is. Ding ding ding ding. Light bulb.

I take a chunk of the dried pineapple and wrap it with the pliable pre-cooked bacon slice. Insert and ingest. Here I come Elizabeth! I'm on my way! It may be the big one! Happy times.

A Long Weekend

This past weekend I saw a daughter watch over her father, without rest or concern of self, as her broken hero awaited mending.

I saw a family man take pause, confused by visions, yet thankful for family as friends and friends as family.

I saw a wife fearful, almost tearful, over a possible finish of her man, filled with honor and regard, saddened by the calm of acknowledged mortality.

I saw a man cry prayers out loud and alone in the dark, defeated, yet hopeful, yielding to circumstance, crippled by perception.

I saw servants give comfort, practicing their craft with kindness and expertise, delivering wonder that promotes praise and confirms images held.

I saw a husband elevate his wife who is his life, to strangers, speaking of his love for her and the magic she creates for him.

I've seen sacrifice and sorrow, love and truth, moments of departure, acts of resolve, elements of character and proof of heart. I'm exhausted, enlightened and encouraged.

My Rested Reflections

I like to say "Isabella Rossellini."

I've decided that I don't care much for being yelled at.

I will probably stop talking at a point in my life - by choice.

I feel a strong loyalty to my one-eyed Slovak barber. I am aware that it might be a joke to him to cut my big fat American melon head of Muppet fluff, but I don't want to take that opportunity away from him. Kind of my gesture of "welcome."

Most generosities towards me come from those who can rarely afford it.

I've gone to places I do not belong and ended up fitting in.

I frequently see an equal but opposite reaction, and I am still surprised by it.

I worry about animals in human predicaments. For example, a dog in a car crash, a chimp smoking cigars and donkeys in bonnets.

I do not pretend to understand gravity. It makes no sense to me at all.

If we are friends and your monkey beats me up, I will not sue.

My favorite artificial taste is grape.

I do not like to walk while bent over.

Clothes in the dryer at night sounds like someone is coming.

A lot of people take warm too far.

I can't decide which place would be more difficult to stay. Outer space, underground or in the sea.

If I see bugs in the house ... I kill them. One day, 2 bugs, I kill them. Next day, 4 bugs, I kill them. Next day, 3 bugs, I kill them. Next day, 5 bugs, I kill them. Who is not getting the message?

I cannot stop watching pelicans fly. Simply fascinating to me.

Everyone has something to say that they wish someone else said.

I always wondered if I had the proper neck to wear a Nehru jacket.

Susan Boyle

Susan Boyle on Britain's Got Talent
by dwarthy