I'll Never Forget The Look In His Eye!

I'm hesitant to say so, but I can't shake the thought.

Sleeping the other night, I was deep in a dream. Driving down a highway I am forced to stop by two ducks that were on the road ahead. I think someone was with me, I don't know who, but they were not very helpful. I get out of the car and approach the mallard. I raise my hands, arms outstretched, then leaned my head forward and asked, "What's the deal?"

Of course there was no spoken answer, but the drake responded by staring at me with those black eyes and a smirk. I made a quick darting motion as if I was going to charge at him, but the duck did not flinch. He stood perfectly still, not stunned, but defiant in a mocking way.

Stupid duck.

Now we go at it. I'm bobbing and weaving and jabbing away and he's giving me the wiggle neck with flapping and quacking. I throw a hook that ended up being two feet higher than his head and he snorted with laughter. He was a lot shorter than I calculated and flippant to boot! I think he spit at me. I toss a kick his way but he easily sidesteps it. What have I got myself into? I throw a few shots that get some feathers flying. I tell him, "I'm having Drake's cakes tonight!"

Just when I think I'm starting to hold my own the little bugger leaps up and bites me. My hand is stuck between his bill and I can't get loose. What a grip this bird has got! I'm thrashing my arm violently and flicking out of control to try to release my hand from his mouth. He's not letting go. I have a duck on my hand, I can't get free, and now he gives me a crazy victory look that seals the deal with a deafening squawk. I ended up walking around the ducks and left my car behind, choosing to walk in shame. I thought you were supposed to win stuff and be a hero in your dreams.

No wonder I'm depressed.