Weather For The Birds
Now that it is so wonderful out in the evening and early morning, I have my windows wide open to enjoy the cool breeze filtering through. Very pleasing until the sun actually rises and disturbs my slightly chilled bliss.
Apparently birds like the sun and start their happy yelping when it appears. Of course they have nested in the tree right beside the window closest to my head in bed.
I have learned that when you have a bird nest - you have more than one bird. These many birds have taken to singing their tunes of "welcome sunshine" loudly, which at times seems directly in my ear and can go on for hours. Qualifier - Just because I am awake doesn't mean I'm getting out of bed, stupid birds, no matter how happy they are. That's how I know it can go on for hours.
Pillows over the head work for a bit until the heat from my angst builds. I believe I had a pillow burst into flames once, but that might have been a dream, or it could explain why hair no longer grows on the top of my head.
When the pillow muffle stops working I sometimes resort to screaming like a bigger bird than they are. That will suppress bird happiness for only a short while because as birds go, they have bird brains, and they quickly forget a much bigger bird just yelled at them.
I also might be traumatizing the neighbor next door.
Today I have decided to fight back. I scrambled some eggs for breakfast and ate them in bed in full view of the nest dwellers. If that doesn't work, it's chicken for lunch.
Apparently birds like the sun and start their happy yelping when it appears. Of course they have nested in the tree right beside the window closest to my head in bed.
I have learned that when you have a bird nest - you have more than one bird. These many birds have taken to singing their tunes of "welcome sunshine" loudly, which at times seems directly in my ear and can go on for hours. Qualifier - Just because I am awake doesn't mean I'm getting out of bed, stupid birds, no matter how happy they are. That's how I know it can go on for hours.
Pillows over the head work for a bit until the heat from my angst builds. I believe I had a pillow burst into flames once, but that might have been a dream, or it could explain why hair no longer grows on the top of my head.
When the pillow muffle stops working I sometimes resort to screaming like a bigger bird than they are. That will suppress bird happiness for only a short while because as birds go, they have bird brains, and they quickly forget a much bigger bird just yelled at them.
I also might be traumatizing the neighbor next door.
Today I have decided to fight back. I scrambled some eggs for breakfast and ate them in bed in full view of the nest dwellers. If that doesn't work, it's chicken for lunch.
posted by RJK at
8:44 AM
1 Comments:
Got some feather pillows you can rip open in front of them? Got a BB gun? Maybe an axe to cut the tree down? You could lure them in with the smell of sweet breads and then crush their little heads! Singing birds in the morning are AWFUL! I hate them. Morning doves especially.
Dude, you gotta do something and do it in plain view so all their stupid little bird friends can see and learn not to sing around YOUR window!
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