Dwell, Dwell, Dwell

Not to dwell on this air travel stuff too long (since my next trip comes tomorrow to Georgia), I'll try to make it short and sweet.

Southwest Airline does not have assigned seating. There is no first class. You get a number, you line up, then grab whatever seat you can amidst the scramble. Because the government does everything at the last moment possible, my number has always been a large one which means I get to choose a seat after they have all been taken.

The only ray of hope is the possibility of getting a seat in the emergency exit rows which give an extra 4-6 inches of leg room. My travel agent said my flight was not full. Upon arrival I was informed they were overbooked. You know what happened.

Middle seat somewhere in the rear of the plane which meant no extra inches for anything for this 6 hour stint. On my left was Mr. Snoring Flatulence who could not keep his belly to himself. On my right was Mr. 5'8" Caesar Complex Spread-Out-As-Much-As-He-Can Hoagie Express who was unable to chew well with his new dentures 3 sizes too large for his yap. When my legs went into spasms my vibrating thigh muscles shook his dropped lettuce and roll bits off of me and onto the floor so I could slip on them later if I ever got up.

One last negative was sitting on the plane for 6 hours and getting 2 cookies, 6 crackers, a quarter ounce of peanuts and 4 ounces of Coke. I was considering eating my seat cushion floatation device, but I couldn't get to it. I was gonna pretend it was marshmallow pie but it was too hot and didn't work out. My arms were numb anyway from being crossed the entire trip. The one thing that was wonderful - no one spoke - so I was grateful for that. I'm done.