Compelling Sales Technique

A kid with those "children of the corn" eyes came up to me and asked if I would buy candy from him today. What could I do? I bought everything he had. I knew the consequences would be dire if I refused and I can only run about 4 steps before collapsing under my own flab-o-lanche or exploding an ankle ducking hobos. The Hershey Bars will do me good. At least I'll get to sleep tonight without seeing scary kid smirks and soiling my jammies.