Super Shopper Sale Sucker
No way. Almost. There was much discussion. Plans were made. Cohorts were ready. Van was gassed, alarm clock set, dreams of a plasma about to be realized at a cost too good to ignore. Bless you Boscov's.
Wait a moment.
Store opens at 5 AM. Sale is good for in-store stock only. No rain checks. How can I tell how many are available? Which store do I go to? Do they all have stock of this item? Clever. I can't even call the store to see who has what. I was encouraged to be there an hour before opening to secure a spot in line. That's 4 AM. What door do I go sit at? Once I do enter the store with my magical mystery chance of giving them money, a thousand dollars money, am I expected to outrun the other lucky potential winners to a department I have no idea is located where? I don't even run if I am being chased downhill while on fire with a free plasma at the finish line 3 feet away. Up yours, Boscov's.
I am the consumer. I have the money. You are the store. You want my money. You're gonna have to do better than that. You almost had me, but my senses kicked in. Sure, they may have kicked me in the head at first, but my big lazy arse reigned supreme by keeping me in bed.
Wait a moment.
Store opens at 5 AM. Sale is good for in-store stock only. No rain checks. How can I tell how many are available? Which store do I go to? Do they all have stock of this item? Clever. I can't even call the store to see who has what. I was encouraged to be there an hour before opening to secure a spot in line. That's 4 AM. What door do I go sit at? Once I do enter the store with my magical mystery chance of giving them money, a thousand dollars money, am I expected to outrun the other lucky potential winners to a department I have no idea is located where? I don't even run if I am being chased downhill while on fire with a free plasma at the finish line 3 feet away. Up yours, Boscov's.
I am the consumer. I have the money. You are the store. You want my money. You're gonna have to do better than that. You almost had me, but my senses kicked in. Sure, they may have kicked me in the head at first, but my big lazy arse reigned supreme by keeping me in bed.
posted by RJK at
12:33 AM
1 Comments:
Thanks for the story. Too funny and SMRT! A girl I work with was telling a similar one, except she went. She got there early, then realized with the time change, she'd gotten there VERY early. The other shoppers waiting with her helped her from looking like a total ninny. She said it was all friendly talk outside but when they opened those doors it changed to a foot race with jungle rules. She had to elbow some guy that was trying to cut her off on a corner! The same guy she had just said good morning to and made small talk with outdoors! I don't like shopping much anyway. But no way would you catch me in there under these circumstances!
Might be fun to build seating above. Could sit down with a bag of popcorn and watch the show, maybe even place some bets!
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