Thieves A Plenty

Been looking for a new vehicle all day. I've seen so many slimy, unconscionable, failures in society that I am prepared to walk wherever I go from now on so long as I don't have any further contact with these parasitic bacteria called car "salesmen".

Why does the government allow and protect these sleaze buckets?

Why don't we see some violence against them or some arrests because of practices that would be considered criminal in any other circumstance. Why do we have salesman anyway? What use is a buzzing gnat with cigarette breath and cheap pomade stink?

I now consider all acts against them acceptable. I will engage and encourage others to prank them, accuse them, abuse them, command them, refuse them and anything else possible that could humiliate them or infuriate them. I will make it my mission to waste their time, walk away after all the figures are in, develop a wicked case of turrets when they call and threaten them with mobster goons with as much scruples as they have.

Oh yeah, it's on, buddy boy. I dare you! Go see your manager. Introduce me to whatever idiots you have employed there. I can't wait to make up some lies about what you just promised me and said about your boss. I'm eating a big bag of potato chips and going in your cubicle as gassed up as I can possibly be without blowing my own shorts off. Ever hear of the stink finger? It's coming your way. Let's shake on it! I want to talk about how ugly your wife is and how I saw your kids shooting up at the school yard. I'm gluing slices of baloney under your desktop so you can enjoy it 5 days from now in all of it's ripened baloney glory! I'm gonna make you sing your company jingle or I'm walking out. When you do sing it I'm walking out anyway because you sound bad. I'm gonna tell you not to quit your day job - whatever that is! Oh yeah, brutha, it's on!