Why Must They Torture Us?

Why would they make the cannister longer than your fingers? How can you reach in and get the bottom half of the Pringles out without dumping the contents or breaking the edges - which fall first and fly out all over you if you turn the can upside down to let gravity assist with the crisps.

And who looks like that? A "Shemp" with a "Brimley" on a white cracker egghead with a "Farrakhan/PeeWee" bowtie?

Is that supposed to be appealing? Does that make you want to grab a can and take it home? Is Procter & Gamble mocking us somehow? Curses! If only that mashed dried goo didn't taste so good! I hope my finger extensions get here soon.