Jonathan or Donald?

I've been thinking alot about the seagull.

I don't know anything regarding their habits, idiosyncrasies or general make-up. I have always been led to believe that they are a bird (gull) and that they live near the ocean (sea), (thus seagull). I know they blow up if you feed them Alka-Seltzer (or so I've been told) and will eat anything you throw in the air in front of them. (I'm feeling parenthetic today.) Granted, I've been given bad information in the past (I have seen them at the shore on the beach and boardwalks), but what is the deal with these chickens of the sea at the mall ... in Pennsylvania?

Have I turned into Jethro Bodine overnight? Am I related to Jessica Simpson?

I reside INLAND Pennsylvania. We do not have sea, but we do have gulls. What am I missing here? I've seen them in Philadelphia, ALSO known for NOT having a sea. I've seen them at several area malls and parking lots where there is no sea. I've seen them at Willow Grove Naval Air Station, no sea. (Why would a Naval Base be located where there is no body of water? Government. Why would a SEAgull be seen where there is no body of water? I DON'T KNOW!)

I guess in consideration of the seagull and all of its conundrums, they are just a flat bill away from being a duck. We have plenty of ducks in PA! Ducks are very likeable! Not that I don't like seagulls, it's just that a duck has never crapped on me from above or tried to steal my french fries.

As long as the mystery continues I suppose I have cause to wonder.

And I'm spent ...